"Forever and Ever and Ever..."

Tonight Caden asked me to NEVER EVER EVER leave him. I just about melted....

Granted...this whole conversation started because he was farting and smelling up the entire hotel room; it was still one of my favorites yet. (Seriously, how does such a little boy smell so horrible? It's insane.) This is my life. Really - farts and poo and smelly feet and boogers (the phase where C stuck his boogers to the wall by his bed was particularly bad). I can't imagine what my poor sister goes through with her 4 boys. 

Tonight while I was tucking C into bed he was laughing so hard because he stunk SO bad, I said, "I'm going to have to move out because it smells so bad with all of these boys!"

He totally started crying and said, "Mommy...don't say that. I don't want you to ever leave me." He wasn't just sad, he was doing the full on cry. I could hardly understand what he was even saying. 

He was SO UPSET. 

I, of course, hugged him closer and immediately told him that I would live with him forever and ever. While having a sinking feeling in my heart that there will be the day when he doesn't want me to live with him forever and ever anymore.

I asked him what we will do when he's a man and has a wife. His solution is, "Well...you can visit! You can spend one week with me, then you can go back home and be with Andrew for one week, then you can come back to visit me for another week. Just like that."

I told him that his wife might like that idea too much. She would probably be saying, "Your mom needs to go home!" AND....C started crying hysterically again and said, "Stop saying those bad things! I want to live with you always."

I melted. 

Oh buddy, I would live with you forever if I could. Unfortunately, I know the day will come when it's time for you to move forward and not live with mommy. If I'm a truly, "the best mommy in the world" like you told me about 5 times today, I'll be able to step aside and let you become the man you are meant to be.

That thought kills me. My sweet sweet firstborn....no one will love you like your mommy does. (Ha...and we wonder why moms of boys are so crazy...and why there are mommy's boys out there...it all comes from moments like these!) 

I'm not going to think about the future anymore, it's too scary. So instead, I'll look back and wonder how my sweet baby grew up so fast. 

  

 

AND...now I'm going to go cuddle C in his sleep and cry. I was only going to pick a few out to post - but WOW...so many mean so much. AND...WOW I need to get these in albums! I am SOOO behind. I haven't made a photo album since he was 6 months old! I didn't even know most of these existed. Oh man. I see a project in my near future!

This little guy is so special to me. I think I'll always have a special bond with my little Caden...for a while there it was just me and him against the world! I'm so very very blessed to call this little boy my son. 

I can only pray and hope for many many more years as his mommy. Even if I can't live with him "forever and ever and ever" I get to be his mommy "forever and ever and ever" and there isn't anything better than that!

and That's 'Watts' She Said...